


Alone

by Adohug



Series: Firefam [4]
Category: Firebringer - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, Jemilla has nightmares, Self-Reflection, and some abandonment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 08:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18657022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adohug/pseuds/Adohug
Summary: The dreams are less frequent than they used to be.They still wake her up, throat hoarse and eyes shimmering.Or: I was struck with a character moment I needed to write about JemillaOr or: Jemilla reflecting on a moment in her life





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON 8AM CLASS, OKAY
> 
> lava (my beta) and I have been really busy! She just had tech, I'm in tech right now, it's a lot!
> 
> Anyways have this thing I wrote instead of paying attention to my AP classes

The dreams are less frequent than they used to be.

They still wake her up, throat hoarse and eyes shimmering.

Her brother always came at first, to hold her, to comfort her, to remind her that he’s here now, that they have parents now, that she’s no longer alone. They still came.

High school came and went, then college, and the dreams lessened in frequency, but increased in intensity. Though still close, she no longer hung out with her brother as much, and when she dreamed either someone else came to comfort her, or she stayed alone.

Being alone after the dreams were the worst.

When she was alone -- when her roommate stayed with someone else for the night, when her phone is too far away to text her brother, when she was the only one in the room -- her eyes aim at the ceiling, miles and years away in her mind. When she was alone she would watch the scenes play out as the hours passed, tears dampening her hair and sheets. When she was alone she didn’t fall back asleep, and brought extra coffee to her morning classes.

When she was alone, she remembered. 

Footsteps echoing on wet walls. The nip of a strong wind at night. Shadows dancing away from a lamppost. Warm arms retreating from her body. Goosebumps from cold metal meeting her neck. Dark brown eyes shining with tears. One last exchange of words, promising to be good, promising to be quiet. One last piece of warmth, pressed to her forehead for but a second before leaving forever. One last smile, one last _I love you._ Footsteps again, this time growing fainter. Staying where she was told to stay, even when her whole body screamed to follow her. 

Staying until her feet hurt. Staying until her bones shivered. Staying until the sun rises. Staying until the gray of dawn disappeared. Staying until she could see the walls around her. Staying until more footsteps approached. 

The intense rush of hope, of happiness, as a female figure approached. Calling out in joy for her, crying. Calls of _mommy!_ dying on her lips as she realized a stranger was coming. The odd mix of confusion and an urge to cry slowly filling her as the lady asked more and more questions that she couldn’t answer. 

Being brought inside a building. Faces, so many faces, going past her. One, two years. Dreams. Meeting a boy who helped her, who stayed with her. Refusing families who only wanted her instead of both of them.

When she’s alone, she remembers.

She wakes up one night, throat hoarse from screams she made in her sleep, tears coming, coming, stopping before they fall, stopping because she feels a weight on her, a warmth. The warmth stirs, a mumbled _babe?_ emerging from it, and she remembers where she is, when she is.

She calms the warmth, telling it to _go back to sleep, it’s nothing_ , and she can’t help the smile that comes to her face as the warmth claims _beat up whatever woke you up_ before slipping back into unconsciousness. 

The dreams are painful. The dreams remind her of what she lost that night. The dreams make her wake up with tears and a hoarse throat. But she wakes up to someone who cares for her. She wakes up to a five foot nothing woman who won’t hesitate to try and fight her inner demons, even half asleep. She wakes up next to someone she loves. 

Pressing a kiss to her wife’s forehead, she closes her eyes.

The dreams are less frequent than they used to be.

She doesn’t mind them as much anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I might make more of these inner reflection bits about different characters, comment which one you want next
> 
> Kudos are much appreciated but only if you think I deserve them


End file.
